Post by cursedphoenix on Jul 29, 2012 17:18:08 GMT -5
Soo... I need to get something this my heart. Has nothing to do with Howrse, but it made me upset, angry, and I deleted a so called friend from my life.
Sorry for typos, grammar mistakes, I tend to not really care when I'm angry and upset.
I won't use their real names, so someone who might know them will go and tell them I wrote this here etc.
So, 2 days ago I went to my friend, let's call her Mary. I was to sleep over at Mary's place, along with 2 other friends, Clara and Susannah. Susannah and Clara are sisters, Clara being a little bit over 1 year younger than her sister, and she's born the year after me, Mary and Susannah.
Me and the others were supposed to sleep at Mary's place because we were to go horsebackriding early the day after + have a children's pony riding for 2 hours, since it was some special day in the neighboring village.
So we get up early the next morning, I've slept barely nothing since the blankets were washed with perfumed detergent, which I'm allergic towards. I was awake for hours, my body itching insanely much.
For breakfast I eat leftover pizza with pineapples on, which I'm also allergic towards, and set off with moped, Susannah and me on mine, and Clara and Mary on Mary's moped. We drive for a while, until we come to Mary's mother's house (Mary's parents are divorced) and she drives us the last bit to the place from where we'd ride the horses.
Mary's mom asks who will go with her to the meadow and get the 2 big horses, a ardennes/north swedish horse/Arab cross and a north swedish horse, and since the others doesn't want to (they most likely wanted to gossip) I say I'll go.
So when we arrive at the stable, me and Mary's mom walks the 2 km to get the horses, and we're gone for a while, I ride bareback on the Ardennes-cross, and it's even further back to the stable since we can't take shortcuts over other meadows.
When we come back, Clara smiles sweetly at me, asking how things are going with Carsten.
Carsten is my Crush, I've been having a crush on him for 1 year or so. Things are going slow, I think EVERYONE but him have gotten my hints, but he's just so adorable and cute, I can't stop thinking about him. But I don't think he wants me, I'm not exactly skinny and not really cute. I'm a tomboy, nobody ever wants me.
I wrinkle my nose at her, telling her truthfully that it's nothing more than usual, not going forward nor going backwards. It's simply the way it is, we talk sometimes, joke about inappropriate stuff and find fun things online to make fun of.
She shrugs, not really saying anything, and goes back to brushing a Gotland Pony we're bringing with us as well. I tie up the horses I brought with me back, and starts to brush on Frido, the North Swedish Horse I'm supposed to ride and Mary's mom pics up his saddle and bridle and puts it on. I'm used to English riding, and I can't really get the western saddles to lay right, so I let her do it so it's completely correct, I don't want to hurt Frido, he's a wonderful horse and I enjoy riding him.
Me and Susannah goes up to pick a helmet each; safety is a priority and we don't want to look bad when riding in front of children, and then tell them they need to wear helmets when we aren't wearing any. Besides, falling off without a helmet does hurt; I experienced that last year in Germany.
After picking a helmet each, me and Clara takes one of the big horses each, and gets up on their backs. Mary rides bareback on the Gotland Pony, with a small shetland Pony in tow. Susanna takes the car with Mary's mom, they bring buckets to fill with water and saddles for the ponies. We ride towards the ocean, and Mary's mom opens the gates into a big meadow with a lot of sheep and cows in it, and we ride down to the ocean, the bright sun shining down on us, the breeze from the ocean not helping much to cool us down.
All the way through the meadow, Clara keeps talking about her fear of sheep, her random lays with guys and how guys are swines because they don't want to get together with her. I feel so tempted to tell her, that to spread her legs to anyone, most guys don't see that as a invitation to a relationship, but rather an invitation for sex. I keep my mouth shut though, I don't want her upset, she has a temper that is very easy to trigger.
When we finally arrive at the location of the pony riding, my body is insanely sore. I ride about once a year, and I ride as if I rode every day. Unfortunately my muscles do not agree on that. It's about 10.35 in the morning, and I'm exhausted from no sleep and the sunshine. It's already about 26°C and I drink water, liter after liter with no end of my thirst. Clara asks me once again about Carsten, I glare at her, not feeling like talking about it. She takes it a bit wrong, looking a bit cranky as she walks off to help MAry's mom saddle the Shetland Pony.
A few minutes before eleven, the first children wants to ride. Their parents pay us, and we help them pick out helmets. We thought that all kids wanted to ride the ponies, but many wanted to ride Frido, because he was so big! All the little boys looked at Frido with wide eyes, wondering how I could ride such a big horse without being scared, and I told them, that he was the kindest horse in the world. They of course wanted to ride the kindest horse in the world!
After 2 hours of walking around in 30°c heat, I have gotten burnt in the sun through my t-shirt and shirt, and my riding-pants. I sweat, I'm sore and my joints hurt. I have arthritis and my joints almost always hurt, but they were really sore. I'm exhausted, and when we have packed everything up, I hand over all of my things, including my precious iPhone, which I spent months to save up to, to Clara. Clara is exhausted as well, she's been sick for 2 months and is still sick, so she's too tired to ride back, so instead Susannah takes the other horse.
We ride the same way back, but this time it's not that fun anymore. My body hurts and I want to sleep. It feels like it takes ages back to the stable, and when we finally get back, we still need to take the horses back to the meadow. We give them some food, pet them and hug them. The horses seem more interested in going back to their friends, and roll around in mud. We walk the long way to the meadows, and then walk back. At the time when we come back to the stable, I feel like falling together onto the ground. After not eating properly, I'm also very hungry. But I take the opportunity to ask for my things, and I get them back. I feel a bit suspicious when Clara takes my phone from her pocket, when she had kept all the other stuff in her purse. Though I do not reflect over it further, but instead sit down in the car, and we go back to Mary's mom's apartment.
Feeling nothing else but the need to go home, I don't really say much. I felt like texting my mom, but I decide not to, I don't want to ruin the mood.
After counting the money we earned, we realize we've earned 350$ we can share on 4. I'm so happy, I can afford buying myself a pair of jeans before school starts in the end of August. We celebrate by eating some ramen, before we finally decide to go back to Mary's dad's place.
We go back in the same way we got to Mary's mom's place, and by 4 in the afternoon, we're there. I take my sleepover-bag and say I have to go home, and pack everything together quickly, and drive home.
Well home, I need to make a call to my mom, to check if the dog has gotten his food or not. When I unlock my phone, I realize that I'm in a texting-convo. Which I haven't checked in a long time. Mine and Carstens.
It takes me 10 seconds to realize, that Clara has been looking through my phone.
I send her a text, but never get an answer, and I go to sleep early. I'm exhausted after all, and there's nothing really I feel like doing.
The next day, I still haven't gotten an answer. I text her again, with the reply, "Oh, it was by mistake, I didn't see anything".
I think for about 5 seconds, realizing that it can NOT be a mistake.
To unlock the phone, go to "messages", back out from the conversation I was currently having (with my mom) scroll down (since the conversation was quite far down) and then click into that conversation.. That can not be a mistake.
Everyone here who owns an iPhone knows what I mean, and it's probably the same with android Phones as well. I get pissed, and tell her to stay the f*ck away from my phone. She replies;
"Hey! Chill! Don't take it as such a big deal, you can read through my phone if you want, I wouldn't have secrets!"
I get even angrier, and she simply keeps defending herself with saying I can look through her phone anytime and that it's not such a big deal.
---
Did I overreact? I think not. My private life is something I highly value and it's called private life for a reason.
I do no longer think of her as my friend, after FIVE years, mustn't she know I wouldn't take this easily? Wouldn't she, after all this time, know that if there was something I didn't want to tell, I'd keep it to myself?
I feel angry and sad, I feel betrayed and mortified. I thought I could trust her with my phone, but I was wrong. She could've come across my most private notes in that phone, my most private pictures. I have serious issues with trust, and then she betrays me like this?
I never want to see her again.
A pic of the wonderful little Frido. He's a wonderful horse, I wish I could own him and ride him every day..
Sorry for typos, grammar mistakes, I tend to not really care when I'm angry and upset.
I won't use their real names, so someone who might know them will go and tell them I wrote this here etc.
So, 2 days ago I went to my friend, let's call her Mary. I was to sleep over at Mary's place, along with 2 other friends, Clara and Susannah. Susannah and Clara are sisters, Clara being a little bit over 1 year younger than her sister, and she's born the year after me, Mary and Susannah.
Me and the others were supposed to sleep at Mary's place because we were to go horsebackriding early the day after + have a children's pony riding for 2 hours, since it was some special day in the neighboring village.
So we get up early the next morning, I've slept barely nothing since the blankets were washed with perfumed detergent, which I'm allergic towards. I was awake for hours, my body itching insanely much.
For breakfast I eat leftover pizza with pineapples on, which I'm also allergic towards, and set off with moped, Susannah and me on mine, and Clara and Mary on Mary's moped. We drive for a while, until we come to Mary's mother's house (Mary's parents are divorced) and she drives us the last bit to the place from where we'd ride the horses.
Mary's mom asks who will go with her to the meadow and get the 2 big horses, a ardennes/north swedish horse/Arab cross and a north swedish horse, and since the others doesn't want to (they most likely wanted to gossip) I say I'll go.
So when we arrive at the stable, me and Mary's mom walks the 2 km to get the horses, and we're gone for a while, I ride bareback on the Ardennes-cross, and it's even further back to the stable since we can't take shortcuts over other meadows.
When we come back, Clara smiles sweetly at me, asking how things are going with Carsten.
Carsten is my Crush, I've been having a crush on him for 1 year or so. Things are going slow, I think EVERYONE but him have gotten my hints, but he's just so adorable and cute, I can't stop thinking about him. But I don't think he wants me, I'm not exactly skinny and not really cute. I'm a tomboy, nobody ever wants me.
I wrinkle my nose at her, telling her truthfully that it's nothing more than usual, not going forward nor going backwards. It's simply the way it is, we talk sometimes, joke about inappropriate stuff and find fun things online to make fun of.
She shrugs, not really saying anything, and goes back to brushing a Gotland Pony we're bringing with us as well. I tie up the horses I brought with me back, and starts to brush on Frido, the North Swedish Horse I'm supposed to ride and Mary's mom pics up his saddle and bridle and puts it on. I'm used to English riding, and I can't really get the western saddles to lay right, so I let her do it so it's completely correct, I don't want to hurt Frido, he's a wonderful horse and I enjoy riding him.
Me and Susannah goes up to pick a helmet each; safety is a priority and we don't want to look bad when riding in front of children, and then tell them they need to wear helmets when we aren't wearing any. Besides, falling off without a helmet does hurt; I experienced that last year in Germany.
After picking a helmet each, me and Clara takes one of the big horses each, and gets up on their backs. Mary rides bareback on the Gotland Pony, with a small shetland Pony in tow. Susanna takes the car with Mary's mom, they bring buckets to fill with water and saddles for the ponies. We ride towards the ocean, and Mary's mom opens the gates into a big meadow with a lot of sheep and cows in it, and we ride down to the ocean, the bright sun shining down on us, the breeze from the ocean not helping much to cool us down.
All the way through the meadow, Clara keeps talking about her fear of sheep, her random lays with guys and how guys are swines because they don't want to get together with her. I feel so tempted to tell her, that to spread her legs to anyone, most guys don't see that as a invitation to a relationship, but rather an invitation for sex. I keep my mouth shut though, I don't want her upset, she has a temper that is very easy to trigger.
When we finally arrive at the location of the pony riding, my body is insanely sore. I ride about once a year, and I ride as if I rode every day. Unfortunately my muscles do not agree on that. It's about 10.35 in the morning, and I'm exhausted from no sleep and the sunshine. It's already about 26°C and I drink water, liter after liter with no end of my thirst. Clara asks me once again about Carsten, I glare at her, not feeling like talking about it. She takes it a bit wrong, looking a bit cranky as she walks off to help MAry's mom saddle the Shetland Pony.
A few minutes before eleven, the first children wants to ride. Their parents pay us, and we help them pick out helmets. We thought that all kids wanted to ride the ponies, but many wanted to ride Frido, because he was so big! All the little boys looked at Frido with wide eyes, wondering how I could ride such a big horse without being scared, and I told them, that he was the kindest horse in the world. They of course wanted to ride the kindest horse in the world!
After 2 hours of walking around in 30°c heat, I have gotten burnt in the sun through my t-shirt and shirt, and my riding-pants. I sweat, I'm sore and my joints hurt. I have arthritis and my joints almost always hurt, but they were really sore. I'm exhausted, and when we have packed everything up, I hand over all of my things, including my precious iPhone, which I spent months to save up to, to Clara. Clara is exhausted as well, she's been sick for 2 months and is still sick, so she's too tired to ride back, so instead Susannah takes the other horse.
We ride the same way back, but this time it's not that fun anymore. My body hurts and I want to sleep. It feels like it takes ages back to the stable, and when we finally get back, we still need to take the horses back to the meadow. We give them some food, pet them and hug them. The horses seem more interested in going back to their friends, and roll around in mud. We walk the long way to the meadows, and then walk back. At the time when we come back to the stable, I feel like falling together onto the ground. After not eating properly, I'm also very hungry. But I take the opportunity to ask for my things, and I get them back. I feel a bit suspicious when Clara takes my phone from her pocket, when she had kept all the other stuff in her purse. Though I do not reflect over it further, but instead sit down in the car, and we go back to Mary's mom's apartment.
Feeling nothing else but the need to go home, I don't really say much. I felt like texting my mom, but I decide not to, I don't want to ruin the mood.
After counting the money we earned, we realize we've earned 350$ we can share on 4. I'm so happy, I can afford buying myself a pair of jeans before school starts in the end of August. We celebrate by eating some ramen, before we finally decide to go back to Mary's dad's place.
We go back in the same way we got to Mary's mom's place, and by 4 in the afternoon, we're there. I take my sleepover-bag and say I have to go home, and pack everything together quickly, and drive home.
Well home, I need to make a call to my mom, to check if the dog has gotten his food or not. When I unlock my phone, I realize that I'm in a texting-convo. Which I haven't checked in a long time. Mine and Carstens.
It takes me 10 seconds to realize, that Clara has been looking through my phone.
I send her a text, but never get an answer, and I go to sleep early. I'm exhausted after all, and there's nothing really I feel like doing.
The next day, I still haven't gotten an answer. I text her again, with the reply, "Oh, it was by mistake, I didn't see anything".
I think for about 5 seconds, realizing that it can NOT be a mistake.
To unlock the phone, go to "messages", back out from the conversation I was currently having (with my mom) scroll down (since the conversation was quite far down) and then click into that conversation.. That can not be a mistake.
Everyone here who owns an iPhone knows what I mean, and it's probably the same with android Phones as well. I get pissed, and tell her to stay the f*ck away from my phone. She replies;
"Hey! Chill! Don't take it as such a big deal, you can read through my phone if you want, I wouldn't have secrets!"
I get even angrier, and she simply keeps defending herself with saying I can look through her phone anytime and that it's not such a big deal.
---
Did I overreact? I think not. My private life is something I highly value and it's called private life for a reason.
I do no longer think of her as my friend, after FIVE years, mustn't she know I wouldn't take this easily? Wouldn't she, after all this time, know that if there was something I didn't want to tell, I'd keep it to myself?
I feel angry and sad, I feel betrayed and mortified. I thought I could trust her with my phone, but I was wrong. She could've come across my most private notes in that phone, my most private pictures. I have serious issues with trust, and then she betrays me like this?
I never want to see her again.
A pic of the wonderful little Frido. He's a wonderful horse, I wish I could own him and ride him every day..
But it often disappears as quickly it appeared ^^